Hans Matheson (Stars in a Terrible Film &) Is Pretty

[viceindustrious]

Once upon a time, someone decided it would be a good idea to make a terrible film adaption of a rather good book/musical. In this film, Liam Neeson chewed the scenery, Claire Danes took on method acting by way of a piece of particle board and Geoffery Rush starred as 'oh hey it's that's guy'. Also, Uma Thurman was skinny, grubby and dead.

Luckily whoever was in charge of casting also gave Hans Matheson a role! That role clearly being: to look luminous, far-younger-than-23-what-are-you-Hans-some-kind-of-vampire and very, very, breakable adorable.

We join Marius, raging hard against the machine. You can tell he's serious. This is his serious face. 

And this is his serious fist. The crowd doesn't look so impressed. 



So he tries to use his powers of mind control! 

Just kidding! He's just telling you to pay attention to his face. 

This face is insured for a million francs! 

It should be hanging in the Louvre!

BTW Marius is also a total creeper and stalks young women down alleyways. Pining.

Pining from afar.

Pining on a bench. (How cute are these, like little matryoshka dolls :3)

Pining in sepia! The colours in this film are so drab. And Hans! How are you 23 here?!

THOSE EYELASHES

A smile worth a thousand words. All of them trying to get into your pants. 

Okay, so that doesn't work and he goes all waggy tailed puppydog.

And then sincere. 

Oh hai thar Cosette. I'm just hanging out in alleyways. Checkin' you out. ^_^

Marius defies you to make him cry. Could you make this face cry? His eyeliner would run!

Jean Valjean is STERN and NEESONY but of course, Marius melts his heart.

THAT MOUTH



Everyone looking goofy as all hell and Marius making anyone walking past do a complete double take.

Okay, I love it when Hans glares like that. He is plotting your downfall! 

Seriously. Young!Coward. Plotting plots of DOOM.

But there's always time to let the light fall prettily on your face while you're considering DOOM.

Oh no! Soldiers?! I did not think there would be fighting involved in this revolution! 

Gosh I sure hope some huge guy is around to rescue me when I totally faint later. 

Some huge guy! *pulls out puppy dog eyes*

Yeah. More of this PLZ. No? Oh well.

Guns! Guns! Guns! I like 'em. (BTW everyone has read unsettledink 's awesome gun!kink fic right?) 

Okay now really. Someone write innocent!Coward being utterly defiled. :P 

Comments

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Oh God, I didn't even realise how much he looked like young!Coward in this. I was probably distracted by shipping the hell out of him and Neeson. Bad me. But you have to distract yourself somehow when you watch bad movies. ;)
And, yeah, Hans must be a vampire. Normal people age.

I was more thinking scheming!bb!Coward scheming and plotting and making Blackwood go, "I shall call him mini-me and adopt him."
(I did not just write that. -.-)

[viceindustrious.livejournal.com]

That is also acceptable!

How can you be surprised?! Young Hans is literally young Coward. Or is it his little schemey face that gets you? Also, count the similarities: They're both rebelling against the social order in unconventional means to achieve a goal! They're both madly in love! They both know how to handle a gun! :P

(that icon never fails to crack me up, hee)

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

yep, it's the little schemey face. I didn't notice that while watching the movie, too much angst. ;) The difference between Marius and Coward? Coward is just a tad bit smarter. And he's in love with someone a lot more interesting. :D

Mhm, I love evil bb!Coward way more than is healthy.

(Thanks. :D I love it so much. Hans and his angsty roles. Most of his characters also have weird mother issues.)

[igrab.livejournal.com]

omg. best way to wake up EVER

[viceindustrious.livejournal.com]

Your icon! *dies* Oh Liam...you silly bugger.

And yes. Hans for breakfast. On toast. Yumm. :)

[unsettledink.livejournal.com]

GUH PICSPAM OF AWESOME.

Fuck yeah. This is just ... ok, I don't quite have words, because my brain has shut down from omgHANS. and omgHANSEXPRESSIONS. and omgWEECOWARD

and he really does not age. That is creepy. in the best fucking way. And I really want to write some more of that vampire!Coward drabble.

And see this again, now that I know who Hans is so I can appreciate the pretty rather than the fail adaptation.

[viceindustrious.livejournal.com]

lol oh no fucking way you have some of a vampire!Coward drabble already. I'm going to try and think of something so off the wall that it won't already be in your notes somewhere...

Ah we both no that's not going to happen! :P

Anyway I submit that Lord Coward is actually Dorian Gray.

[unsettledink.livejournal.com]

I KID YOU NOT

wut.

Because seriously, brain time share is getting hella weird. Now anneka_neko is sharing space as well, and then both of you are giving me each others thoughts, and I'm all, O_O

off the wall ... GO FOR IT.

Also, Coward = Gray. Yes. Yes very much. Or hell, even if they met.

[viceindustrious.livejournal.com]

O.O

This is so crazy, I really want to be grab someone and say "I have this friend on the internet and they are INSIDE MY HEAD and at the point where I'm like, oh lol you do not have X completely random fic, c'mon, no way and then they PRODUCE IT RIGHT THERE. What is going on?!"

It's soooo cool. :D

And what the hell? If someone said to me Blackwood/Coward and vampires! I'd probably be all 'meh' and then you've written that and it's seriously hot and and whoooooa and yes. I love it when you get two paragraphs or something just centering in on small actions and it works because then it's just beautiful! <3

[unsettledink.livejournal.com]

IKR? Welcome to my world. And I was all like, dude, DUDE, I wrote that ages ago! (And I still want to do more, cause I had this thought about doing a magic is real world and Coward has a preference for the taste of magic flavored blood, and and and....)

See, I think I do this thing when someone on the kink meme asks for H/W with an interesting idea - I automatically stick it in B/C, or Lestrade, or Mycroft. Cause I'm ornery.